The other night Tim and I finally got to watch Fireproof! It was a great movie! If you saw and liked Facing the Giants, you'll really like or even love Fireproof! It was so good! It broke my heart to see their marriage struggle, I believe everyone should get their happily ever after! Anyway, the movie centered on the premiss of a book "The Love Dare". I won't go into much detail, as I would hate to ruin a great movie for you, but in the end Tim and I decided to "fireproof" our marriage....we began "The Love Dare". This is a great idea for anyone struggeling in their relationship or it's a great idea for those that just want to improve and strengthen their marriage!
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It starts out simple enough.......Day 1: Hold back negative comments (if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all).....Hmmm, we're struggeling with this! We keep having to start over!!! Not that we say horrible, cut throat, self esteem diminishing things to eachother, but I never realized how many sarcastic remarks we make to eachother in a day! Grant it, they are said to make eachother laugh and they do (I tend to think Tim is funny, but don't tell him I said that)! Day 2: Hold back negative comments and do something out of the ordinary for your partner, no matter how small (this can be as simple as opening the car door, getting them something to drink when they don't ask). We did ok here....thats the easy part! Day 3: Buy something small for your partner to show them you are thinking of them.....honestly, we haven't got this far yet as we keep having to start over! I'll let you know what he gets me whenever we reach this point! I believe part of the problem is that Tim and I have done well over the last 22 years and maybe we aren't taking this "dare" quite as seriously as a couple who are depending on it to save their marriage! This is a 40 day challange.....I'll let you know how we do!
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I am not trying to diminish "The Love Dare"! I know this book has, will and can help a lot wrinkled marriages!!! I just think that if your marriage is pretty stable it may be hard to abide by the day to day suggestions! I still recommend everyone watch the movie "Fireproof" and maybe even take a drive down to your bookstore and look over "The Love Dare" you may find that is just what you were looking for!
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This is on topic, but off topic (If that makes any sense). I was coming home from Target the other night and on the radio was a lady (I can't remember her name) that was explaining her book. She started out by saying that her book was about the major mistakes woman make when getting married. One of these mistakes was believing that your marriage is one of the happily ever afters......"WHAT the HELL"? EVERYONE should believe their marriage is a happily ever after.....thats it, start it off with negative energy! Negative thoughts lead to negative behavior! One of the other mistakes was giving up your career to raise the family and support your husband......HUH? So that is no longer a noble cause? She back peddled saying that it was fine to raise your family but you needed to keep you resume up to date....UP TO DATE?? With what? I changed 3,398 diapers from 2001-2005. I cleaned dried peas out of 349 shirts from 2002-2004, I mopped up 72 pukes off the floor from 2001-present.....some how I doubt Corporate America is interested in that! She kept saying over and over and over and over that the divorce rate is over 50%, she kept saying women need to protect them selves for WHEN it happens to them. WHEN? SERIOUSLY?
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Perhaps this is why the divorce rate is over 50%.......because it has become acceptable and easy! I do believe that women should be their own person and not lose sight of themselves, but to protect themselves from a divorce that is "inevitable" is a negative, depressing and wrong concept! We need to change societies way of thinking......divorce is not the easy/only way out. Marriage needs to be worked on......like a growing child! At times it may seem immature and some times a real pain in the a$$....but totally worth it in the short and long run! This author kept trying to make her book sound like it was a positive "Self Help" book, but in my honest opinion I felt it was just a negative "Self Destruct" book......this book will only set people up for divorce rather then assure them that although marriage can be hard it is worth it! Sometimes people screw up and commit a horrible sin, I don't believe a marriage should end over a mistake....no matter how bad (I mean, who am I to judge, I know of only one Person that can do that). I do believe, however, there are some people who will chronically cheat, beat, drink, shoot up.....whatever....and never think twice or even pretend to be sorry....those marriages....well, I should say, the partner in those marriages should run for the hills and start life over! Ya know the old addage "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" stands true! Forgive and forget......unless they don't!
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